How to Win a Negotiation Under PRESSURE (According to an FBI Hostage Negotiator)

When FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss walked into life-or-death situations, he couldn't rely on traditional negotiation tactics. Lives hung in the balance. Failure was not an option.

After 24 years with the FBI - including serving as the lead international kidnapping negotiator - Voss has since applied these high-stakes techniques to business negotiations.

His insights are particularly valuable for acquisition entrepreneurs who often find themselves in intense, high-pressure deal discussions where millions of dollars & entire business legacies are at stake.

Recently, Voss demonstrated how these FBI techniques can transform your acquisition negotiations (See below):

The Power of "What" and “How” Questions

Voss shows how the right questions can completely shift negotiation dynamics. Instead of asking "Why won't you accept my offer?" - which puts people on the defensive - he uses "How" and "What" questions that create collaboration rather than confrontation.

• "How can we structure this deal so it works for both of us?"

• "What would need to happen for you to feel comfortable moving forward?"

• "What would your ideal timeline look like?"

These questions do something remarkable: they make the other party think through solutions rather than defend positions. 

When a business owner is considering selling their life's work, they're naturally defensive. "How" and "What" questions transform them from adversaries into problem-solving partners.

The "That's Right" Moment

One of Voss's most powerful techniques involves getting the other party to say "That's right" - instead of "You're right."

This isn't just semantics - it's psychology:

When someone says "You're right," they're often just trying to end the conversation, but when they say "That's right," it means they've internalized YOUR perspective and made it their own.

In acquisition negotiations, this might sound like:

You: "So if I understand correctly, you've spent 20 years building this business, and your biggest concern isn't just the purchase price - it's making sure your employees are taken care of and your customers continue to receive the same level of service?”

Seller: "That's right. Exactly."

Now you're not just another buyer trying to acquire their business; you're someone who truly understands what matters to them.

Tactical Empathy in Action

Voss emphasizes "tactical empathy," or acknowledging the other person's emotional state (without necessarily agreeing with it).

This is crucial in acquisition negotiations where sellers are often dealing with complex emotions about letting go of their business.

Instead of rushing to counter objections, acknowledge them:

"It sounds like you're concerned about what happens to your team after the acquisition. That makes complete sense… You've worked closely with these people for years."

This validation doesn't mean you agree with every concern, but it shows you understand why they feel that way.

Once people feel heard, they're much more willing to work with you.

Mirroring for Better Connection

Another subtle but powerful technique from Voss is mirroring. By repeating the last few words of what someone just said (with a slight upward inflection), you encourage them to elaborate.

Seller: "I'm worried about the company culture changing."

You: "Company culture changing?"

Seller: "Yes, we have a very collaborative environment, and I've seen other acquisitions where new owners come in and completely change how people work together."

This simple technique gives you deeper insight into their real concerns while making them feel heard.

Implementation for Acquisition Entrepreneurs

Apply these techniques in your next acquisition discussion:

• Start with tactical empathy - Before diving into deal terms, acknowledge where they are emotionally: "I can only imagine how it feels to consider selling something you've spent decades building."

• Use “what” or “how” questions to avoid triggering defensiveness - Instead of asking "Why are you asking so much for the business?" try "What factors went into determining that valuation?"

• Mirror key phrases - Encourage elaboration on important points.

• Listen for the "That's right" moment - Summarize their position until they confirm you truly understand their perspective.

Remember, you're not just buying a business; you're inheriting someone's legacy.

These FBI techniques can help you navigate emotional complexity & build the trust necessary for successful deals.

The next time you're in a high-stakes acquisition negotiation, channel your inner hostage negotiator. The results might surprise you.

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